After receiving feedback from David Waterworth, the group made changes to the proposal in order to address clarity issues and give the approach more thought.
Some changes were implemented to the proposal after, followed by more advice from our supervisors.
David Waterworth on 26/11/2016:
I think it is looking much sharper, pretty good actually; however I am a little wary of the weight you put on psychoanalytic theory. I think the way you argue your case here, you lead yourself unnecessarily open to the charge that you do not have adequate knowledge of psychoanalytic theory to base your research on this approach. You don’t need to bring in theoretical concepts you are not fully familiar with to validate your project, you have presented a good enough case without this, You are much better off outlining your approach and saying you will be informed by additional research into psychoanalytic theory.
Also, would like to see a breakdown of each of your roles on the project.
Miriam Sorrentino on 27/11/2016:
I agree with David that a little too much weight in the proposal is placed in your first paragraph in psychological study but I think that it is easily resolved by talking about taking ‘a psychological slant’. David is right that you don’t have adequate knowledge of psychoanalytic theory for this to be a pure psychoanalytic research project but my understanding was that you were taking some psychoanalytic approaches to your research methodologies, case studies and extending your theoretical framework as understanding why people do things is your primary interest. So psychoanalysis as it applies to Media & Communications. If this is the case then possibly you need to be a little more explicit as it reads as though you plan to conduct a psychological analysis of the whole subject area of narcissism yourselves rather than create a magazine in which you will be informed by additional research into psychoanalytic theory.
You are very close with this proposal , so don’t be disheartened, you could create a real point of difference in a crowded market place and not produce similar repetitions of the narcissus art projects that we have all seen in the past and produce a genuine Media & Communications piece.
I was also hoping, as David was, for a little more clarity in terms of individual roles. That is not to say that we expect one to be the art director, one the journalist etc, it is fine for you all to do a number of jobs if you would all like to be the journalist /researcher but then we need you to say that you will each be writing and exploring a different aspect of the narcissism project in a unique article you each produce along with jointly producing your work in a magazine format.
Having taken into consideration the feedback received, the group members have revised their proposals and subsequently uploaded the updated proposal to Turnitin.
The supervisors’ advice prompted us to reevaluate not only the proposal, but also the idea of the magazine itself. The group decided that the magazine should cover a wider range of issues associated with social media, and not make narcissism the main topic. Other issues the group wanted to raise were body image, self-esteem and identity.
When it comes to our approach, like Miriam said, we agreed that we will not take a psychoanalytic stance, but instead, we will use psychoanalytical methods to our research. When looking to find out why young women are projecting enhanced versions of themselves online, the group viewed their research and case studies through a psychoanalytical perspective.
From the beginning, the group wished that this project created a place of support and comfort for individuals affected by the negative impact of social media, offering expert advice and writing articles that resonate with them, all while connecting with them.
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